Sept 24
When I was a kid I didn’t think my life was gon be like this. Why can’t everything be free. Niggas like me aint got no money. I want everything. I deserve everything. I gotta get what I can get da best way I know how. My life is a big circle. I don’t get shit accomplished. I be wearin da same cloths 4 days. I just been goin where I can get. I don’t wanna go home and face reality. I’m fuckin frustrated. I feel like I’m gon blow up. I can’t keep all my feelins inside me. I need 2 talk 2 somebody be4 I do some crazy shit. Don’t nobody wanna listen 2 what I got 2 say. Can’t nobody even give me a complament without me getting defensive.
sept 17
I don’t care how I live; I only got 1 life 2 live. Every nigga I know lives like this. A lot of muthafuckas be trin 2 live like a nigga but they fake. I’m real. Aint nobody harder than me. Them little niggas be actin a fool. They act like they aint got no respect. I keep talkin bout “remember when.” I need 2 do somethin. I gotta make some money. I don’t want people talkin shit about me cause I aint got shit. People think I got shit. I’m gon let them think that shit. Times is hard. I just need more time. Somebody give me a break. I can’t find a job. I aint been lookin. Fuck working 4 anotha muthafucka. I want my dick sucked. I’m tired of fuckin hoes I don’t like. I like 2 fuck. I need some transportation. Aint nobody got no gas. I need 2 get somewhere so I can make some money. I need a ride. Aint nobody trin 2 help me. Don’t nobody wanna see me make it. Whenever I get somethin, I’m not sharen with nobody. Aint nobody trin 2 help me. I aint trin 2 hear shit. Let me live da way I wanna live. I don’t wanna hear nobody telling me how 2 live. I’m gon do what I do until I get ready 2 change. Everybody telling me I need 2 go 2 church. I aint got no time. My life is crazy. I need 2 read. Why I need 2 read a notha muthafuckas words. Don’t nobody give a fuck about what I say. Why should I care about what other people say. I don’t wanna hear nobody tellin me I need 2 get my life 2gether. I know I need 2 get my shit 2gether. Just give me time. I gotta smoke a blunt. I don’t know what I’m gon do. I aint got no options but 2 sell dope.
sept 10
I don’t wanna look at myself in da mirrow. I aint got shit. I’m nothin. It don’t seem like my life is real. It can’t be real. I gotta sell some dope. I need some money. I’m really thinkin bout robbin a muthafucka. I don’t care about shit. I can’t provide 4 myself. I’m gon make it. I just know it. One day I’m not gon live like this no more, or I’ll be in jail. I only got 2 options. Make it or go 2 jail or prison and shit. I gotta do somethin with my life. FUCK IT. NIGGAS LIVE LIKE THIS. I AM WHAT I AM. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. I GOTTA ADAPT 2 WHAT I AM AROUND. I don’t know sometimes. I wish somebody would buy some dope. What am I gon do; I don’t know. I need 2 fuck somethin. I need 2 get some of these hoes 2 buy me some shit. Bitches is stupid. I’m so alone; I aint got nobody. I need somebody. SOMEBODY PLEASE LISTEN 2 ME. I wanna do right. I want people 2 accept me 4 being me.
sept 3
It looks like I might go 2 jail. I need a little bit of money. I aint got it. If I do some time I can’t pay da muthafuckas I owe. I gotta hustle hard. I’m gon get some dope fronted 2 me. I paied a few muthafuckas I owe. I feel like I owe everybody, I feel like aint nobody did shit 4 me. Some of them muthafuckas aint gon get they money. Fuck da police. They keep trin 2 lock me up. They keep pullin niggas over cause they think I’m up 2 no good. I’m just trin 2 live. LEAVE ME ALONE, I AINT BOTHERED NOBODY. When I start fuckin with people, that’s when I want muthafuckas fuckin with me. I’m trin 2 make my money da best way I know how. I’m rasin my kids da best way I know how. I aint got nothing but my seeds. I need 2 go see my kids. I aint got no time but I’m not doin nothing. I’ll go see my kids next week. I be stayin with different bitches each night so I got somewhere 2 stay. I hate 2 go 2 my mammas house. I like 2 fuck. All these hoes wanna fuck with me. Everybody fuckin everybody. I’m gon fuck. I need a ride somewhere. Don’t nobody wanna give me a ride. When I had my car, muthafuckas was all on my dick. Fuck everybody. Muthafuckas be on that bullshit. I be fuckin da slap shit out of some pussy. That’s why I be getting so much ass. Them bitches love my dick. Sluts don’t stay in a niggas life long. They be fuckin and bouncing. I can’t fall in love, I don’t know how. Aint nobody ever gave a god damn thang 2 me. I work hard 4 everythang I get. I’m tired of everybody. I wanna be by myself. I gotta find something 2 belive in. As soon as I wake up, I smoke a blunt and drink a beer. I don’t think I can live right if I’m not high. I gotta believe in something so I can know somethin. I don’t know shit. I’m just livin and what ever happens, happens. I need a blunt. I need some money.
aug 27
I be thinking that if I don’t face my problems they will go away. Shit keep goin wrong. I’m not doin shit with my life. I aint got nothing but my word. I gotta keep my face clean with muthafuckas. I aint got shit. I need some dope. I know I aint makin much money but I gotta eat. I know I’m bout 2 make some money. Can’t nobody tell me shit. I know what I’m doin. I don’t need nobodies help. All I know is sellin dope. I’m gon sell shit till da day I die. That’s my life. “This is how it is where I live, this is how it is in da slums, hip hop hard as it come.” Music be keeping me calm. Them niggas be understandin what a nigga like me be goin through. Everybody be commin 2 me 4 help and when I need help who be there 4 me. I don’t see no fuckin body. Fuck everybody. I’m gon remember how muthafuckas be doin me. I wish I had a girl 2 chill with. I aint got nothing but some pussy I can fuck. I need a girl I can talk 2 so I can get some of this shit off my chest. Don’t nobody wanna listen 2 me. Don’t nobody give a fuck about me. I can’t do shit but write some of this shit down. I throw old shit away cause it aint new no more. I need new shit in my life. I’m thinking bout robbin a muthafucka. I’ma have 2 ask somebody 2 front me some dope. Shit gettin crazy. I don’t know what I’m gon do. I’m unsure. I need guidance. Don’t nobody wanna help me do right. I know if I wanna do right, I gotta do it 4 myself, I NEED HELP AND DON’T NOBODY WANNA HELP ME. I’m tired of people lookin at me like I’m shit. Like I’m nothing. I’m human. I’m gon make mistakes. I gotta live and learn. I got 2 much goin on in my life and I aint did shit.
aug 20
. Muthafuckas wanna fight me cause they bitch be givein me ass. It aint my faught bitches want my dick. Life is goin by fast. It was like yesterday, I aint have no bills, no worries. I’ma grown ass man now and I can’t do shit 4 myself or nobody. If all else failes, I’ll live like a bum. I don’t want nobodies handouts. I can get what I need myself. I still feel like I’ma die. I feel it even more now. My life is changing. Da muthafuckas around me changing. I’m changing with them. I don’t know what’s best 4 me so I just do what other muthafuckas do. I need guidance. Fuck everybody but my connect. All I need is some dope, and I’m cool. I can’t go back 2 $0. If I go back 2 $0 I’ma die. Nobody knows da trouble I see. I don’t see shit but my life. I love livein. I’ll kill a muthafucka in da right sitution. I aint trin 2 start trouble or nothing, but if a muthafucka fuck with me, I’ll shootem. I don’t know what I’ll do. I gotta make some money. Fuck da police. I’m on da grind. I need a blunt. My weed habit is expencive. Fuckit I love 2 get high. I don’t believe in words. I can say I love you, and don’t mean it cause I don’t believe in words. People just be usein words 2 feel confident in what they doin. I’ma do what I gotta do, fuck all dat talk shit. Talkin don’t get a nigga paied. Hustlin pay da bill. I’ma full time dope dealer. I sell weed, cocaine, crack, ecstacy, shit whatever I can sell 2 make a quick lick- I’m sellin. Fuck da bullshit, I need money and I need 2 do it all. I’m breaking da law either witch way anybody looks at it. I’MA NIGGA, GIVE ME RESPECT.
aug 13
I seen my kid at da store. Fuck that bitch. I got my own bills 2 pay. I hope next week be a good week. I got bad credit with everybody I know. I want my dick sucked. I like getting drunk and high with bitches. I try not 2 be around hard dicks. They be trin 2 smoke up all my weed. Them bitches be thinking I’m lame. I don’t never say shit but them bitches be thinking I lovem and shit. Hoes come and go. I gotta make this money right now. I don’t know why my dick get hard like this. Everythang I got I worked hard 4. I don’t need nobody. I don’t eat good. I can’t afford 2 eat good but I gotta bag of weed. Fuck my family. They aint doin shit 4 me but talkin about me. I be takein extra showers when I can so I can think I’m washin all da shit I do away. I be thinking every ho I fuck gon burn me. I been talkin bout I’ma get money 4 a long time, and I aint got shit. I wanna fuck. Don’t nobody feel me. I try 2 be real with everybody. I don’t give a fuck about shit; I’m just trin 2 live. I need some money. Da police lookin 4 me talkin bout I owe child support. How da hell am I suppose 2 pay it if I’m locked up. I guess they thinking I aint been payin it so why am I gon start now. I wanna pay dat shit, but times are hard. I gotta get this money so they wont lock me up. I aint trin 2 go 2 jail behind no bullshit.
aug 6
Only thang I know is sellin dope. I need a job cause I don’t wanna always be on da lookout 4 da police. I be meetin a lot of people. I gotta connect. I’m thinking bout da days when I had shit. I’m makin money now. My money I worked hard 4. My shit. I own anything once it get in my hand. I’m starting 2 see that everybody around me aint got shit. I’m that muthafucka everybody talk about, da older people don’t want me around. I wanna be cool with everbody. Fuckit I gotta get paied da best way I know how. My niggas fallin off in da game. They dependin on me 4 shit and I aint got shit. I don’t know what da fuck they be thinking. Muthafuckas come around me cause they wanna smoke up all my weed and make theyself look cool. Muthafuckas keep gettin dropped. I need 2 find a girl and settle down. I want some new pussy. I met a cool ass girl. Somebody please give me some money. I need more money, I got dreams. In reality I aint got shit. I can’t go 2 da bank and get no goddamn money. My life is fucked up. Somebody help me. I wanna make a difference in somebodies life. I gotta make this money. I keep spending, I’m not makin no money. Da police know me. I gotta get a job. A job is my last option. My dick is hard I gotta find some pussy 2 fuck. My life is normal as hell, everybody I know live like me. I be listenin 2 myself talk and I tell a lot of lies. It don’t matter, it aint nothing but words.
july 30
I can’t sell dope out my mamma house; I gotta get a job. I need a few checks, buy a few dubs, get my money up, and bounce again. I’m realizing that da house I call mine, aint mine, I realy aint got nowhere 2 call home. I’m stressed out but I can’t let nobody know. I’m calm 2 be stressed out. Muthafuckas be looking at me like I’m crazy cause I ride in cars and be rappin and singin and bouncing and shit. Why da fuck yall looking at me. I feel what I’m doin. Why don’t muthafuckas feel they shit so they can leave me da fuck alone. I’m just livin life chillin, looking 4 anotha day. I don’t know who I’m kin 2. I don’t know my daddy. I don’t know whats goin on but it aint gon be like this 4ever. Shit gotta change. I just don’t understand. I gotta resort 2 violence cause that’s all I know. I’m not trin 2 get stuck nowhere. Fuck everybody older than me, da younger muthafuckas don’t understand. I’ma playa. I want my dick licked. I’m waitin 4 somebody 2 die so I can get something. I be confortable around my niggas. I BE SITTIN HERE HOPEIN MY LIFE AINT REAL. 21 real as hell. Muthafuckas around me keep dien. I made it 2 see 21. Life is fucked up. I need something 2 do. I don’t know what. I gotta find me some new pussy.
july 25
I need somebody 2 calm me down. I think I’m da shit. Can’t nobody tell me shit. Who da fuck wanna fuck with me. I’ll fight anybody. I keep smoking blunt after blunt. It seems like I don’t get high nomore. Muthafuckas keep telling me I need 2 get a job. Fuck working. That’s some bullshit. Cornballs work 4 muthafuckas. I aint listening 2 anotha muthafucka tell me how 2 make him money and he don’t give a fuck about me. I need some money. I don’t know what I’m gon do. I’m startin 2 go 2 da club. I’m fuckin madd club hoes. I be casualy fuckin and shit. I’m dat muthafucka. I be fuckin da hell out them hoes. I like smoking blunts with bitches. I want some pussy. Family members keep dien; At da funeral everybody know me. A lot of my hommies died before they were 21. I wanna retaliate. I gotta move back in with my mamma. I be thinking bout my hommies. I’m not changing my style. It’s cool 2 say bad words. I learned more from da game in 1 year than I learned in school all them years. Da game taught me da metric system; da teachers couldn’t teach me da metric system. They were talkin backwards. I wanna be in control of my life. I don’t give a fuck about my hair bein nappy. I go 2 da club and parkin lot pimp. I got a home boy that’s 17 and his mom and dad is dead and him and his 14 year old sister live on da street cause they aint got no hommies they can stay with and his sister pregnant by a crackhead cause she be fuckin so they can get hotel rooms and she be helping her brother buy dope so he can make some money. I realy don’t think I’ma see 21.
july 16
I’m just trin 2 fuck. These hoes be fuckin niggas and when they get fucked up in they shit, niggas end up fightin. A muthafucka get da shit beat out ofem. A muthafucka wanna shoot and shit. I just wanna fuck. I can’t help it bitches want me 2 fuck, and they gotta man. I’m not turnnin down no pussy. It just don’t seem like I’m gon see 21. That shit just don’t seem real. I done did bout everything I can do in life. Fuck it If I die, I aint got nobody 2 live 4. I need some attention. Aint nobody givin it 2 me. I don’t wanna be a dope dealer, aint no job payin me what I’m worth. I gotta sell this shit, it’s da only way I can get ahead. I gotta do this shit. My nigga just got killed on some bull shit over a bitch. I wanna get me a muthafucka. I gotta be smart. I gotta make some money. Times is hard. I’m gon make it. I know it. Can’t nobody tell me shit. Fuck time, shit happin when I get ready. I’m gon control my life, aint no white man gon control my life. Fuck da law. They can’t get me. I’m 2 smooth; I’ma hustla.
july 9
I can go stay with my mamma, but I gotta live by her rules, and she gon be all in my business. I need 2 save some money. I realy aint got nowhere 2 go. I gotta sell dope. I’ma get paied again. I’ma get it back like it usto be. I’m bout 2 do this shit. Can’t nobody tell me nothing. I met a bitch that go to church. All I wanna do is fuck. I need 2 get some sleep. I look bad. I need 2 get a hair cut. I realy don’t give a fuck my hair be nappy. I’m trin 2 live. I miss my niggas that’s dead. Why I keep meetin all these young hoes. I need 2 find somewhere 2 live. I gotta pay 4 my own shit. I’m gon do this. I gotta get paied. Fuck da bullshit. I’ll do bout anything to get money. I know I be sayin I’m gon do a lot of shit, and I don’t be doin what I say. I got good intentions. I hate livin. I be skeet shootin pussy. I be takin showers after I fuck to get that fuckin smell off me. I’m just trin 2 make it. Don’t nobody mamma want me commin around they kids. I don’t know why people think I’m so bad. Fuckem, I’m still gon get me. I called my nigga cause I aint have no car and I needed to make some money. I know a muthafucka dat needed something. I don’t be meanin 2 get my niggas hot but I gotta get this money da only way I know how. Somebody needs 2 help me. Aint nobody trin 2 help a nigga like me. I aint got no place I can call home. I don’t pay da bills nowhere. I gotta make me some goddamn money.
JUNE 25 2007
I’m makin money fuckin with this ho. I’m getting back straight slowly but surely. Dis bitch starts trippin cause she thinks I’m fuckin with other hoes and shit. I told her I aint been fuckin no body but her. I know I’m lien and shit, it don’t matter, it works 4 da right now. I’ll deal with dat shit later. I need more money. I gotta get paied. I want some new ass. My family be trippin cause I do what I do. Fuckem. Who am I. How am I suppose 2 realy act. I gotta get legit. I gotta do what I gotta do. Who da fuck gon help me. How am I gon live. I know I realy don’t have a place 2 call home. I’m not nothing but a bum. Don’t nobody realy give a fuck about me. I’m just a muthafucka dat come around when shit aint goin right, or I need something. I gotta be a man. Muthafuckas be talkin my head off. Aint no nobody I know talkin bout shit. My nigga makin money but I can’t fuck with him cause he hot. I need 2 meet muthafuckas. I’m cool as hell. I need some pussy. I just ran into my home boy from back in da day and he got a family and he work in a factory. I can’t live like that. I need some goddamn money. How am I gon get it. I don’t know. I need 2 go somewhere. I need 2 get high. I need 2 sell dope, I gotta get fast money. I can’t work 4 anotha muthafucka. I need something, I don’t know what I need. Give a blunt. I need some liqur. I gotta get fucked up. I know I can make it on my own. I can do it. Drug money don’t last always and it aint a fo sho 4 bills. I think I’ma die. I don’t think I’ma see tomorrow. I don’t know. I don’t know what da fuck I realy know. All I know is I gotta chase this paper. I gotta get it. That’s all I know.
'Whats Going On?'' | JUNE 18, 2007 | Issue #41
I know I be contradicting myself. I know I say one thing and do another. FUCK DA WORLD. I aint shit. Shit just don’t wanna go right. I’m trin 2 do right. Fuck it. Somebody please help me. I got 2 much pride 2 ask 4 help. I aint wanna do my home boy wrong. WE GOTA HAVE BAD BLOOD 4 A SECOND. I’ll tell dat nigga I’m sorry one day. I hope he understand. I aint changed cloths in days. I been takin showers where ever I can. I try 2 leave cloths everywhere I be so if I take a shower there I can change cloths. I gotta chase this paper. I need money. All I know is I aint got shit. I want shit and I’m gon get shit. I don’t know why all da girles around me keep getting younger. I guess all da girles my age be in college or working. I ‘m hungry, I aint ate a good meal in bout a week. I need food. I’m hungry. I can’t spend my reup money on food. I gotta call a bitch. That bitch helped a nigga out. Give a nigga a place 2 stay and shit. Treatin a nigga all good and shit. I need some money. That bitch gave me some money 2 get right. I be drivin her car and shit 2 make money. I be meetin more hoes cause I’m goin out again. I’m casualy fuckin. I got live in pussy, plus sluts and bitches I be fuckin. I hope I don’t get burned. I want new ass. I need da pussy juice. I hope my homeboy live through that bullshit. I hope my nigga understand.
''Whats Going On?'' | JUNE 11, 2007 | Issue #40
Why da hell da slaves have 2 go through all that bull shit; the slave master woulda killed me quick, I know alot of people died. I know they woulda felt me or killed me. I be thinkin bout so much but I aint got no answers to da shit I be thinkin. Muthafuckas be talkin bout real hip hop, but muthafuckas don't really know what real hip hop is. Niggas see hip hop as a bunch of words that realy aint shit. Some scholar muthafuckas see hip hop as a cultural revelution. What da fuck is hip hop. Niggas don't belive in words, they believe in actions and reaction. What da fuck has hip hop done 4 me but let da police know my slang so I gotta change da way I sell dope. I started noticin that rap music is a niggas philosophy; that’s what he lives by, thats his life. A man tells his story, he thrives 4 you 2 know how his life is. People misintpretret what people are tellin them. THEY BE TELLIN PEOPLE, THIS IS HOW WE LIVIN, HELP US. IT'S A CRY 4 HELP, IT'S NOT A CRY 2 LABEL EVERY BLACKMAN A VIOLENT SEX ADDICTED DOPE DEALER, IT'S LIFE. We are supose 2 live here and be happy. True, nigga is a derogatory statement, and you can make what ever 2Pac used when he used NEVER IGNORANT GETTIN GOALS ACCOMPLISHED if u want to. Nigga is negative word. I do stand 4 nigga meaning NEVER IGNORANT GETTIN GOALS ACCOMPLISHED cause me and my niggas use it in a positive way when we talk 2 each other because nigger and nigga and all them other words are here 2 stay. Face it, It’s a part of our vocabulary. If a white person calls me a nigger or a nigga, I'm gon kick they ass cause they aint got da privilage 2 call me that. Nigger and nigga has been published, it’s been said, its here. The day will come, when we meaning everybody that lives here can give and recive words better. Some words go away because vocabulary changes. It’s gon come but we gotta wait. It’s gon take time. I be screamin we need time but don't nobody wanna listin. My brown skin means unpredictability cause you never know what a nigga gon do next. Everybody makes sence in they own way. All I want is streetfame, streetfame is crazzy. I want everybody where I'm at 2 know me and thank I'm da illist. I gotta be like, shit, damn da police over there. When that one family member dies da whole family falls apart cause aint nobody gon keep niggas 2gether. Back in da day people sang about lovin, we talkin about everythang and don't give a fuck. Fuck words.
''Whats Going On?'' | JUNE 04, 2007 | Issue #39
I WANT TO STOP SELLIN DRUGS BUT DRUGS ARE APART OF MY LIFE. IM STUCK IN THE GAME. I THINK I NEED HELP.
''Whats Going On?'' | MAY 28, 2007 | Issue #38
Livin my life is like watchin TV; its all entertainment because I don't know whats gon happen next. That’s why a nigga don't never feel apart of shit. Niggas always feel like an outsider. People never know a nigga, people thank they know niggas but they only get one side of da nigga and each person gets a different intpretaion of da nigga. People don't really see reality 4 what it is, they only see what they wanna see or whats confortable 4 them. Niggas be sceard of their brains, niggas be screard of what they can achieve. Everythang cost in da real world. People just wanna be able 2 explain everythang, thats why they come up with concepts and shit, nobody truly knows if anythang is right or wrong, they go with what sounds da best. They talk about in times of war, da economey needs 2 be stimulated, why don't we legalize weed and stimulate the economy. America is a nice place, Its love and beautieful, we just gotta learn how 2 live 2gether. I gotta sell dope and I'm trin 2 quite sellin but I can't get a job. Why we praise a muthafucka cause he died on da cross for da people; maybe he just did it 4 da recognition cause he knew his name would be talked about 4 ever. Da artist is the representitive of his culture. The 1st rappers were talkin a bunch of bullshit then gansta rap came and shit got real. I aint dissin da old school rappers but da shit they were talkin about wasn't real 2 me. I respect them 4 openin da door 4 otha rappers. I understand how thangs gotta build and develope into somethin else, da nigga in me say muthafuckas should think like me from da jump and go 4 da big shit.
''Whats Going On?'' | May 21, 2007 | Issue #37
A nigga be comunicating without talkin because his life revolves around enteraction with people. People pick up on actions; we learn how 2 enteract. Back in Adam and Eve days it coulda been otha muthafuckas somewhere else, they just didn't know about each other. Back when Jesus was doin his thang it coulda been somebody somewhere else gettin praised, just nobody talked about it or wrote it down, they just kept all they information in they head, and what they had 2 say just died. We just chasing dreams anyway. I hope 2 die when I get old so I can feel like I accomplished somethin and I can be happy about da life I lived buecause if I die now I aint happy cause I aint accomplished nothin. I just wanna live 2 be old. Now they got a nigga mother fuckin. I'm gettin older and some of da hoes I be fuckin, got kids. Fuck, the use of da word nigga, it aint nothin but a fad, we gotta use it now so we wont use it later. It’s just a matter of time til we will disregard da word and make it history. We gotta use it now 2 get over it. I gotta criminal record on some shit that don't represent my personality.
''Whats Going On?'' | May 14, 2007 | Issue #36
When people ask niggas questions, da niggas answer seems so wrong 4 da sititution. Da nigga gets frustrated and the nigga seems violent and then people approach da nigga with violence. Da young niggas can punk older niggas cause older niggas loose heart cause they got otha shit 2 think about and da young nigga aint got no rules - anythang goes in their life. Churchs is like individual kingdoms with the preacher at the throne. Pretty soon everybody will feel like they need the throne and we will have 2 many leaders and not enough follers. The preacher always be trin 2 get everybody 2 be a preacher. Nigga be like he aint never seen god, so how is he so good. If people aint have nothin 2 believe in the only thang they will see and believe in is what we do and create. Da reason church work, is because church can involve everybody. All you have 2 do is just create the right atmosphere 4 da right crowd. How do you love what you can't feel. Why do people go all out in the name of the lord. How do you get 2 know Jesus. Back in da day, people didn't read and they had faith; we got preachers tellin everybody 2 read da bible. Church folk get addicted 2 da words, "The word of god," and "thank you Jesus." if you hear somethin all da time, that becomes real 2 you. Preachers be tellin people 2 be individuals but if you do your own thang, you wrong. Why does da preacher get 2 wear da robe, he or she aint nothin but a common muthafucka just like me. Is god a system, how does he or she reach everybody. Preachers write sermans. Faith is feeling, the freestyle is pure emotions. When a muthafucka freestylin, he don't know what he or she will say next. It aint nothin but a constant flow of somebody’s feelings. When they write they sermons they be practiced; 2 me it aint real. if you believe in Adam and Eve, we all cousins.
''Whats Going On?'' | May 7, 2007 | Issue #35
I dropped out of school. I can't do shit but get high and drunk to take my mind off how fucked up my life is right now. Liquar and weed aint no addiction, its my life. I'm in a sitution where I gotta conform my life 4 anotha muthafucka; that shit be makin me mad as hell when a muthafucka tell me I can't be myself, fuck that I'm gon be me and if muthafuckas don't like it fuckem. I see it like it’s me against da world and a couple of my hommies. All I'm trin 2 do is just live and be happy but survival is a muthafucka. I see it like we all animals trapped in a cage. What makes us so special. I thought we where all equil and we all gotta share this land but we, us humans feel like we betta than animals. Thats why niggas like dogs so much, they can control anotha muthafuckas world and that muthafucka aint got no choice but 2 look 2 da nigga for guidence. Niggas aint usto bein in control so they abuse they power cause they aint never had a chance 2 be in control of shit. We got da nerve 2 set rules for people when da muthafucka settin da rules aint gon thank about everybody when he makin his decision on what we gon live by. That’s why niggas adjust 2 their environment. Niggas don't worry about what’s goin on somewhere else. I feel like they be namein project housing and black populated areas after other black people 2 discredit their names and their accomplishments. Why, where ever you see Martin Luther King road, street, boulvard or what ever, you see black people livin in poverty. Tell me somethin 2 make me thank otha wise. Somebody please tell me how many of the early presidents owned slaves. How this god damn country gon tell me and otha muthafuckas like me that we equil and American history tellin me somethin different. I just don't know what 2 thank. I hate movies that don't show the whole nigga. Movies only show 1 side of a nigga. That shit don't represent me. I know I be runnin from da piss test and I know need a job. Everythang gon work out one day. I be listinin 2 niggas talk and niggas be exageratein when they braggin on what they got so they can look like they got more than somebody else but they aint got shit. Niggas make theyself look out of place because they actions be different from da norm in certain situations because niggas want attention.
''Whats Going On?'' | April 30, 2007 | Issue #34
Maybe we speakin THE WRONG LANGUAGE. Maybe every language on da god damn earth is wrong. Shit just change so much; we gon change this bitch, its gon change 2 A WHOLE NOTHA LANGUAGE. YOU DON'T KNOW TOMORROW. TOMORROW IS A CRAZZY MUTHAFUCKA. WHERE DA HELL TOMORROW AT. You know da muthafucka down da street, but do you know 2morrow. You know 2day, you know what you doin right now, you know whats goin on currently, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW 2MORROW. Muthafuckas be gettin 2 damn comfortable thinkin they gon see 2morrow. That muthafucka crazzy, if that muthafucka say, “A shit, you dead, you gone, aint no more tomorrow or 2day or right now. You dead.” Aint no notha 2morrow. You can't trade that bitch in. What if a muthafucka ran somethin into Da statue of liberty and said, "I'm glad I knocked that bitch down," and laughed about it. Muthafuckas would be shook payin attention 2 what da media say. Da president gotta say some ole patriototic bull shit when he just as shook as I am. I'm just trin 2 figure out why we all can't get along, and live here happily ever after when we all know we gotta share da earth. That aint nothin but man trin 2 control shit. Mans ability 2 think will kill all men. Man knows if he can control shit everybody gon need him and he gon get paied. Look at da money we use 2day. I go 2 da store, spend my money. Pay who ever made da shit, and pay the muthafucka that sold it 2 me. Some muthafucka got somethin I need or want and if I want it I gotta pay 4 it or steal it. I go broke trin 2 support anotha muthafucka when that muthafucka don't give a fuck about me; I'm just his money. When I try not 2 buy his shit, he comes up with somethin else 2 take my money. That aint nothin but control. One muthafucka, or a couple muthafuckas get paied off everybody. Controlin muthafuckas so they can't never do what they do and even if the common people save they money 2 do what some people do; SOCIETY DONE MOVED ON 2 SOMETHIN ELSE.
''Whats Going On?'' | April 23, 2007 | Issue #33
They wanna kill a niggas creativity and make him feel less than a man cause he can't provide 4 his family. I constantly feel like I am wrong and I live in danger. They keep niggas trapped in low income situtitions. All I want 2 see is change and progression in my life. You always have that nigga that try 2 do right but he can't cause he gotta do illegal shit 2 survive. I can't help it, I do drugs 2 keep my mind off my real life. I forgot, drugs are man made, not grown from da earth; Nigga just don't understand da law. A nigga wanna know why he can' t say what he wanna say when he wanna say it; I get tattoos 2 express how I feel all da time when I can't say what I want 2 say. Nigga thank he be gettin ahead when he find a short cut but da nigga fails 2 realize he don't know how 2 do what he is trin 2 do. Nigga feel like if he just do it, he'll get da answer and he'll know it. Sometimes a nigga never get it and a nigga gotta end up readin da book. That’s always da last result. I finally realized I’m not an American citizen; I JUST LIVE HERE. That’s the way shit is; why I wanna go work when I got to work da rest of my life, I can't retire til I'm 60 somethin, why don’t I start workin when I'm 30 somethin. Nigga be doin all he can so he wont have 2 move back in with his mamma. They be wrong when they say "he know his information." It aint that he know his information, he just knows somebody elses information. Nigga don't be readin cause he don't want 2 get caught up in the circle of education because education is repiticious. Nigga be wantin 2 hear new shit. Why I gotta use otha peoples words 2 be right. I be lookin at people in da classroom. When da teacher says somethin, the students be noddin they head exceptin everything the teacher says 2 be true. I started 2 see how vulrable people were when they recieved information. I feel like the reason all them christain people be sucessful is because they be readin all that philosophy and shit from da bible. Niggas don't read. Nigga be questionin da bible. Was Adam and Eve really da 1st 2 muthafuckas here? Why da hell people praise Jesus. Maybe Mary wasn't a virgin, or maybe Joseph jacked his dick and Mary was fingerin her self and his sperm got up in her some how. I wasn't there and I know when you tell one muthafucka somethin they tell da next person somethin different and that muthafucka tell somebody somethin else different. Who am I 2 believe. If da muthafucka do tell you da right story, you gettin they intpretation and how they see it. I see it like god got us in an experinment, that muthafucka playin us trin 2 see what we gon do. Regardless of how you look at it, you might feel that you choose your own path and destiney and shit. That muthafucka just waitin 2 see what we can do and evolve 2, what we gon make of this place. He gave this place 2 us, he gave this place 2 da 1st muthafuckas. I don't know who they were. I don't know how they got here, but the 1st muthafuckas with "rational thought," and look like us. God put them muthafuckas here 4 a reason. I think he wanted 2 see what would man do with this land. We can trip on this all day. This shit we call language; what we say might be right but maybe its wrong.
''Whats Going On?'' | April 15, 2007 | Issue #32
Money be fuckin muthafuckas up. Da nigga go back 2 class and take a test. When da nigga take da test, he understands da questions and feels he can pass da test, but if you paied attention to what was wrote a few lines above, thats probably how a nigga like me would write it on a test and wont give a fuck cause I know I knew it. I did not write it right. It wasn't organized, I get a fuckin 70, they be like we'll keep him in da game don't discourage him that much. Just let him barely get by and graduate broke. We da muthafuckas that can do a whole lot for society, but they keep people at certain levels in society so they can't use their talents 4 da masses. Only the local few. You get these people out there that can make change, cause they gon give you action. That's what niggas do, give you action. The nigga gets out here in da world and does somethin. He gon be like I wanna see da results right now. This is what I want done, lats go do it. What do you do, you don't give him money and keep him down. You keep him trapped cause it constantly breaks him down. Education be waistin a niggas time, but a nigga be waistin his time by not bein in school doin somethin productive. Education is a measurement of a persons memory. They just be measurin what people read and remember. Nigga wanna be his own person, and do his own shit. Education be teachin people 2 talk about what otha people say or do. Education ultimately deprives people of his or her own insight on a subject because there is no or not enough documentation 2 prove a persons thoughts 2 be correct or incorrect, therefore, education considers what the individual person says or does as an invalid arguement deminishing the confidence of the individual person causing him or her to silence himself or herself because education views the individual persons ideas as being opinions, and not facts. The people that get into education gain their confidence through education cause they feel they know somethin because they read it, the people that don't get into education appear 2 be doumb like they don't know nothin cause they can't back it up with documentation. Education teaches everybody 2 process information da same way. Education teaches people 2 stay inside da box. Everybody can type so why don't everybody try 2 publish they shit and get paied off they thoughts. This country has more divisions than white and black, its everybody. Its a lot of divisions with no togetherness. Everybody wanna turn against a nigga.
''Whats Going On?'' | April 9, 2007 | Issue #31
Nigga be seein it like not havin knowledge bout somethin means I'm bout 2 come up with some new shit and fuck what happened a long time ago, cause I'm bout 2 come up with some new shit. Nigga be feelin like he got choices when society tells him he aint got no choices cause a nigga be just livin and what ever happens, happens and everything gon be all right cause I'm gon make a way but then da nigga still gotta go back 2 dat classroom. Now a nigga feel like I'ma open up a little bit and give them a piece of me my way. The students listin 2 me and fuckin laugh cause they thank I’m doumb and don't know what I'm talkin bout. Nigga just told them somethin in his language. Nigga just trin 2 answer da question in a way that’s best 4 a nigga; everybody takes what I say 4 a joke. They thank da shit funny but a nigga know he right but everybody say he wrong. Da next person say da same shit in a different, more developed way and everybody say they right. That shit be fuckin a niggas head up but da nigga gotta sit there and take that shit. Nigga just except that this world is built on anotha muthafuckas word when some muthafuckas words don't mean shit to otha muthafuckas. They be teachin me that da white man, don't get it twisted, I aint a racist, nigga aint got no hate against nobody til that muthafucka fuck with him, you know what I'm sayin, but da white man came over here 2 America, and them muthafuckas just said look, it's all this god damn land and a few muthafuckas on it. We need to claim that muthafucka. They said all we gotta do is go over there mingle and shit, talk to them and learn they language and teachem ours. We can learn they language so we can get they shit, teachem ours so they learn our shit so when they become dependent on us they gotta learn our ways. Da nigga is all about action. Them words don't mean shit to a nigga but this society is built on words. After that shit, da white man needed muthafuckas to make some money. Them muthafuckas knew they people didn't know how to work da land so they went and got some muthafuckas to work da land and make them a bunch of muthafuckin money. Then they kept bringging them over here separatein them from they families and treatin them any way they wanted to cause I can't even go into detail; who ever like what I'm talkin bout, read about it. They made a bunch of money off them muthafuckas and kept them on 0. After a while that shit became an issue and da country got divided up into muthafuckas who owned slaves and muthafuckas that didn't. The muthafuckas that owned slaves said we gon fight for our slaves god damnit. They fought to keep their niggers. They let them muthafuckas go cause they lost da war and shit; They had to accept it and let them muthafuckas go. They toldem that now if you work for me I gotta pay you a little bit. Them muthafuckas been was at da bottem of the list for so long and muthafuckas tellin them they aint shit and laws tellinem that they are shit; they just out there in da world lookin around to see what da fuck can they do. How am I gon make some god damn money. Da nigger got choices now. I can stay here and work da land or I can go some where else and get land but alot of land is already taken or I can go to da city. Them niggers came out of slavery with nothin. They came out of slavery with fuckin nothin. The whole time muthafuckas lookin at these muthafuckas like yall aint shit and we betta than yall. That’s supiorority. That shit is still here. I'm still livin it. I aint never figured how one muthafucka look at anotha muthafucka and be like I'm better than you.
''Whats Going On?'' | April 2, 2007 | Issue #30
Niggas incollege be suposedly at the top of they game. Now he gettin family support. The family be like he in school, he learning, he aint hanging with them thugs no more and running round like he a hoodlum. The niggas family starts 2 embrace him. They want 2 talk 2 him, give him money here and there cause they thank he doin good. That shit aint doin nothin but stressin a nigga out cause a nigga be thankin if I wasn't doin good in anotha muthafuckas eyes nobody would be trin 2 help me. Your family be askin all kinds of questions about school and da nigga know he don't give a fuck about school and what they talkin bout, but nigga gotta act pleasent and entertatn bullshit questions so people will think he is greatful. Da nigga know he aint that student that’s gon get that scholar ship or da good job when and if he graduate. He know he just that muthafucka that’s gon help da institution stay in business. Da nigga go 2 school everyday and know this, he know he is in college, but he aint da one. Da nigga aint da one that Harvard gon come talk 2 and they say "we want someone like you representing our school." Nigga be wantin that but da nigga aint gon be da one to get that. But da nigga got dreams of goin 2 Harvard cause they say it’s da best. Some of these college students I've been around, they really know they shit, but a nigga like me be wonderin how they gon get a diverse education when they never hear from or talk 2 niggas like me. I just don't feel all that shit like they feel it but I know some of my opinions be on point and I can offer an alternative way of thinking in to da world of education in education its 1 right answer and every thang else is wrong. Sometimes I like being around educated people because they be talkin some good shit. I be glad 2 hear somebody at da top of they game but a nigga like me be feelin left out because they don't except my style and termonology and they be trin 2 tell me how and when I'm supose to do my shit. That shit just aint what I feel. I feel like education be deprivin me of being me. Yall be sayin thangs gon change, but education fails to teach muthafuckas how 2 survive for da right now. Learning history is all good but it's circular. Teach me how to live in da world I'm in right now, fuck dat shit that happened 1or 200 years ago. Maybe I be confusing myself when I hear people say "history repeats itself" cause I see it like if muthafuckas keep dwellin on old shit they get fucked by old shit and live old shit.
''Whats Going On?'' | MARCH 26, 2007 | Issue #29
My fuckin life is realy beginning to botha me at school then my fuckin teacher be teachin and I aint feelin what da teacher teachin. The teacher always lookin 2 them couple muthafuckas 4 da answer when a nigga like me can articulate da answer better than otha muthafuckas but da teacher aint trin 2 hear what I say because of da way I say it and know it, da teacher feel like I didn't read; thats why I say it the way I do and they always sittin there lookin at me like I got da wrong answer. “Yep he don't know, yep his type don't read,” and da nigga just sittin there takin this every day, you know what I'm sayin. Nigga just sittin there feelin this shit. Now a nigga thinkin why da hell this muthafucka be asuming I don't know what da hell I'm talkin bout, I thought this muthafucka was supose 2 be trin 2 help me. Then that muthafucka that sit in da back of the class and don't say shit, you know what Im sayin, but O he is a nice guy and he is dressed nice and his parents got alot of money so I know he read so I'm not gon fuck with him. You always got that 1 muthafucka that wanna answer every question; nigga be like fuck it. These muthafuckas aint helpin me make no muthafuckin money. This society is built around money. When a nigga aint got money he got problems. All a nigga know is that I gotta get money and if I wanna go to college I gotta get money. That’s how they get a lot of niggas; niggas aint got da grades 2 go 2 da public state supported colleges or they just wanna go to school around niggas then when they get there they find out the niggers at black colleges aint niggas like them. That’s how they get niggas, they make niggas pay more money 2 go 2 da black colleges cause they private and niggas or niggers aint got da money 2 pay dat high ass tution so they get loans or sell dope 2 pay 10 or 20 thousand 2 go live on a college campus 2 get educated and get a new experience but your living conditions and technology aint da top of the line. Nigga be lookin at the price of tution and livin and shit at somewhere like UNCC and it be bout $5,000 with nice living condition and top of the line technology. Then I look at black colleges and I gotta pay a whole lot more 2 struggle and get da bottem of the line shit. Nigga feel like the black colleges be gettin fuckin hand me downs and a nigga be like why these niggers keep excepting this shit. Why they keep exceptin 2nd hand shit, and they be actin like everythang is a fuckin issue. Nigga don't be trin 2 hear that shit, nigga be like lets just get it done. Nigga be acting brand new around women. Nigga be like all these muthafuckas talk a good game but can't get shit done. A nigga be lookin at everybody like, why da fuck you even go 2 college you can't do shit and you don't get shit done, you can talk. A nigga see it like muthafuckas be graduating from college and can't do shit, yea they teachin me what I need 2 know really they be teachin muthafuckas how 2 follow rules. Nigga like me be like this, shit aint helpin me make no god damn money - it aint helpin me do shit but go broke and in debt.
''Whats Going On?'' | MARCH 19, 2007 | Issue #28
It's just my muthafuckin history. It's good I'm goin 2 class and learnin about my history but they only tell it from da white mans point of view. I know it's good 2 read about some of da shit da white man did 2 some of my people but when you try 2 make education a muthafuckas whole life you kill anotha muthafuckas creativity and make a nigga like me frustrated with education. Niggas be fuckin frustrated. Nigga be sittin there listinin 2 a muthafucka constantly trin to control everything he do in his life. They be tellin you between 9 and 10 we gon learn this and between 10 and 11 we gon learn that. Then it's 10:30 at night and you still gotta do homework for 1 class. Nigga feel like you tellin a muthafucka 2 devote his whole life 2 some shit that a nigga don't care about but I do understand it's only 4 da temporary but during that temporary time my god damn brain is being shaped with some shit I don't give a fuck about and don't want in my god damn brain. I wanna know what do I want 2 do and what can I do when da answer 2 my life is inside of me. A nigga feel like why da hell I gotta do it your way if I don't understand it. When I get ready I will ask somebody. Education puts a nigga on a time schedule. You gotta have your work done by a certain time. A nigga be wantin 2 do da work but a nigga aint gon do da work until he get ready. Nigga be like fuck time, maybe thats apart of my history I don't know and understand, why dont somebody look up why black people don't be on time. Nigga like me be trin to figure out who was da first muthafucka 2 tell time cause that muthafucka should have known everybody wasn't gon get down with they definition of time and when they said what time it was. Alot of this shit I'm writin a muthafucka need 2 look up because I’m not going 2 take da time 2 look none of this shit up. I'm just tellin you how I feel.
''Whats Going On?'' | MARCH 12, 2007 | Issue #27
They talk about education is learning and shit, teach muthafuckas, talk 2 muthafuckas, use these god damn words yall be usin against me 2 help muthafuckas. Don't use these words 2 hurt muthafuckas. If words is knowledge and knowledge is words and knowledge makes money in this country, why can't da educators talk 2 everybody, people know what I'm sayin. But no you keep words away from people but then da words I'm usin 2 describe somethin society don't except as being right even tho we talkin bout da same thang. My words is just different like "it's hot." I just said something was nice but if I said "it was nice" society would understand what I said without hesitation. It's just so much 2 my language that a lot of folk don't understand. They look at my body language. The way I talk use my hands and the aggression in my voice causes them 2 call me millitant but I'm just confident in what I say and do. I’m not millitant at all, all I wanna do is just sit in da class or just be somewhere and mind my business and don't nobody bother me. Just leave me da fuck alone and let me see whats goin on. I’m not gon bother nobody and aint nobody gon bother me: Just leave me da fuck alone. I'm up in da place chillin no matter where I go muthafuckas just be starrin at me and what can I do but think that these muthafuckas keep starrin at me makin me mad when I don't know why these muthafuckas starrin at me. I be thinkin that these muthafuckas don't like me but I'm gon mind my business until one of these muthafuckasfucks with me. Then what happens; one of these muthafuckas bothas me. They fuck with me, and I look like da bad guy cause these muthafuckas fuckin with me and I'm just defending myself. I'm already fuckin frustrated cause these muthafuckas keep starrin at me: that be makin me mad as fuck but I can't do shit about it cause it happens everywhere I go.
''Whats Going On?'' | MARCH 5, 2007 | Issue #26
Why da hell you always gotta call me names. I'm tired of bein called names, all I wanna do is just go some where and people say "thats dat nigga right there, he cool" and you still callin me names when you say "dat nigga" but I understand people gotta classify people, you know what I'm sayin, I'm tired of all dat but I gotta go 2 school and keep listinin 2 muthfuckas tell me how I gotta write, how if I don't write like this society aint gon except it. Man, god damn, you transformin my brain makin me think everythang I do in my life is wrong, I need 2 do right, but when I come home from school my fuckin mamma tell me I need 2 go 2 church, a nigga be like I don't wanna go hear dat bullshit from a fack ass muthafucka. I’m not sayin I aint got no time 2 hear it but god damn I don't wanna hear it. Maybe that god you prayin 2 aint da kind of god I wanna get down with. Religion aint even da issue. Religion has nothin 2 do with nothin that’s just some shit some muthafuckas believe in. I don't give a fuck about all dat shit, I'm just trin 2 live and not fuck anotha muthafucka up in da process. Hopefully I'm doin what I gotta do 2 get into heaven if dat shit real. Being around drugs is normal 2 me. I don't care about god damn Jesus. That shit history 2 me, that’s what muthafuckas did a long time ago, I'm livin in da present, da right now. I need somethin 2 look up 2 right now somethin that’s real 2 me. Somethin thats real 2 me is if I do what I gotta do, I'll be all right but if I live and I fuck a bunch of muthafuckas up I'll be fucked up. Society always be tellin a muthafucka its good people and bad people no matter how you look at it and I just happen to be apart of da bad people. Hell I thank I'm good and I'm trin 2 be good but I am apart of da bad people. What am I supose 2 do; continue 2 sit in da classroom learning, continually not makin da good grades. It aint that I'm not makin good grades cause I don't listen 2 what da teacher says, hell I gotta listen 2 my clients when I sell them dope; I listen 2 da teachers cause I see it like they and sellin me dope. I be listenin 2 these people but when I write it down or present it, my termonology just aint right. Da teachers don't understand "they be bouncin"but they understand "they will be leaving," they understand that. When I write a paper I can't write by documenting what anotha muthafucka said cause I aint got da time 2 go look that stuff up. I'ma tell you how I feel and write it da way I think it sounds good and hopefully I'll make a good grade but I don't. I take them standardized test and don't pass. Them A,B,C shits be confusing 2 me but I try. If it was a school made 4 niggas like me it would be based on just bein there. Your attendence would be your grade 4 da simple fact if you come and just listen 2 a muthafucka talk you will get a lot. When you tell a muthafucka like me dat I gotta spend hours reading and I don't like 2 read and my life don't revolve around that shit.
''Whats Going On?'' | February 26, 2007 | Issue #25
I'ma sell dope cause that’s what niggas do. Some niggas rob and kill and shit but a nigga like me sell dope. I know I can't sell dope 4 eva, you know what I'm sayin, a nigga do what he gotta do 2 survive 4 da right now. When a nigga get in dat setting of education, you know what I'm sayin, nigga just feel like he out of place. He be around a whole bunch of muthafuckas that don't understand his life, that don't understand what he gotta do 2 survive and they thank what he gotta do 2 survive is bad and barbaric and when they make comments about people that live like a nigga he wanna say somethin but can't cause he know if he say somethin they gon look at him like he crazy and he an animal and he just wrong. He just be like fuck everybody and just don't talk 2 nobody. Da nigga gon find a couple muthafuckas he can relate 2 cause it's always at least 1 muthafucka that feel you. Then a nigga run into muthafuckas that try 2 live like a nigga cause they think dat shit cool. Dat muthafucka try 2 get in da game to build his social confidence not 4 money like a nigga got 2 and muthafuckas thank dat muthafucka cool as hell. He can walk da walk and talk da talk but can he survive like a nigga. A nigga be trin 2 figure out why him and anotha muthafucka can do da same shit but when he do it, it's bad and it make a nigga look like he just live all grimmy and shit, then they call me a thug.
''Whats Going On?'' | February 19, 2007 | Issue #24
It feels like I'm hustlin backwards; I can't get this money and get popped, I aint got da money 4 a good lawyer so I get what I can get be 4 they lock me up. I get in cars and shit with muthafuckas that don't know da police be lookin 4 me. People get caught up in a lot of shit. How can that muthafucka get caught with an ounce of powder, and I get more time than him 4 a couple rocks. Nigga with crack be sittin there watchin muthafuckin crackheads smoke crack and kill theyself, watchin they eyes change as they hit da rock. He be watchin how they body be fuckin up as they grow more addicted, but not everybody be lookin like they be fucked up. Some of da muthafuckas I sell 2 own businesses and they look normal. Da crackheads became my friends cause my life begins 2 revolve around them and they are my money. Damn! Nigga gotta hussle harder cause da police fuckin with him. Nigga aint trin 2 go 2 jail, I gotta get this money da fastest way I can. I don't know who 2 trust. Fuck bitches, they aint nothin but a nut, I aint trin 2 spend money on hoes right now. I thought we were all equal. Some muthafuckas lose and some muthafuckas win, some muthafuckas just quit before they lose and some muthafuckas aint got no choice but play da game they whole life and they eventually fuck up. That’s fucked up Aids, gangs, crime and all that negative shit target black communities. Nigga wanna know where in da constitution do it say somethin about drugs. What we need 2 do is examine American history and see how fucked up this country done treated all none white people. I want 2 know da true meaning of "American Diversity." We live in a time where the uneducated and neighborhood villains are da most influential. I see it like, truth, is 2 live by your words. They wonder why I hate education. I hate education cause they be trin 2 brainstrain me. They try 2 tell me somethin that aint helpin me live in my life. They teachin me bout George Washington but George Washington aint doin shit 4 me but goin from my hands 2 another muthafucka. I can't do shit, da only way I can get this shit is by doin what I gotta do and thats selling dope or what eva da hell I gotta do to make money. It's a whole bunch of ways I can make money but I gotta find out what’s best 4 me.
''Whats Going On?'' | February 12, 2006 | Issue #24
A SON NEEDS LOVE FROM HIS FATHER. FROM WHAT I SEE MEN DON’T KNOW HOW 2 B FATHERS. I KEEP TELLIN MYSELF IM GON B A GOOD DAD AND B THERE 4 MY FAMILY BUT ACTIONS DON’T SHOW THAT. IM SELFISH. I ONLY THINK ABOUT MYSELF. WHAT AM I HERE 4. I DON’T RESPECT PEOPLE. MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DESTINED TO FAIL. IM THANKFUL EVERYDAY IM NOT IN JAIL. LIFE IS A STRUGGLE. THE LIFE I LIVE DETERMINES MY FUTURE. I WISH LIFE WAS A DREAM.
''Whats Going On?'' | February 5, 2006 | Issue #23
I just realized my people needs somebody to lead them. I see myself doing the same thing the older people did to me. I smoked weed with a 13 year old. I didn’t buy 4 him or from him but I smoked weed that he gave me. I did not vocally encourage him to sell weed however I physically showed him that if you have a product, people will want it. I got to face it, I’m addicted to weed. I tried to play the role of a positive person. It didn’t work. The 13 year old is my new weed man. I guess I should give him advice on what the game taught me. It don’t make no since, I been hustlin all these years to resort to hopein I get a free blunt from a child I watched grow. I’m not a drug dealer. I need to be real with myself, if I had $ I would sell drugs. Now I’m thinking, if I get my $ up should I put this kid on. I don’t need to do that but I need $. What’s da deal? What do I do? My family life is shit, they don’t know me and I don’t know them. I guess we became distant the first time I hit a blunt. I always told myself I would not support kids and drugs but I keep smokin with all these young teenagers. I’m at the age where I influence people to do right or wrong. Everybody around me is getting older, its my turn to provide. Nobody taught me how to provide for my family or myself. I can change the pattern since I recognize it but do I even want change the way my family has been structured? Maybe I wanna be just like my daddy. My daddy is a legend, I only know his name. I got a 40 year old cousin that got out of jail. He said some real shit to me. “When a man is at his lowest point and needs help, his family should help him.” He can’t buy cigarettes, cut his hair, cut his grass, transport or support himself. He washes cars and takes out trash 4 change 2 buy beer. He told me he be drinkin so he wont be depressed. I wanna give him something to do but the only thing I can think of is some illegal shit. That’s my reality. Maybe I can spend more time with my family then I wont sell or smoke weed. Cocaine makes more $. I don’t trust nobody. I hate to look people in their eyes because I’m afraid they will see whats in my heart. I give the wrong people my attention. I do 2 much 4 stranger and not enough 4 my family. I don’t know how to change it. I be watchin my homeboy and his 5 year son. My homeboy thinks that picking up his son once a week and buying him things is being a father. I don’t know, my dad was not in my life but I think that being a daddy is more than that.
''Whats Going On?'' | Janurary 29, 2006 | Issue #22
THE GAME is a stressfull business. It makes you feel like you are the muthafuckin man and can't nobody be illa than you. When you get that feelin and a policeman comes around and that policeman, is just doin his job, but he comes 2 da block. Nigga be feelin like he gotta go pop da cop that fucked up da block that he had locked. I'm trin 2 go get it. We gotta get that muthafucka. Once we takem out. Nigga be like if I do this I'll fuck up 4sho. Its only one way or da otha. Jail is probably a place I'm goin anyway so fuck it. I need 2 make that day sooner than later. I'ma do it. Why I gotta think like this. Why can't everybody just have shit so it wont be muthafuckas that got shit and otha muthafuckas that aint got shit. Why can' t people just have equil shit and live in this muthafucka mindin they own business. We got muthafuckas that gotta do damn near anythang 2 get shit. Muthafuckas gotta catch whip lash lookin over they sholders lookin 2 see if anotha muthafucka trin 2 do somethin 2 them. A nigga find himself wearing da same cloths 4 days. Nigga can't brush his teeth cause he can't afford a tooth brush and he don't know where he gon rest his head from day 2 day and he be stayin with different hommies each night so muthafuckas wont get tired of him cause he doin all he can not 2 go back 2 his mammas house. I be lookin in da mirrow at myself thinkin how fucked up I am and how fucked up I look and how fucked up my life is. When you play da game you got 3 choices: (1) Life in prison. (2) livin life chillin. (3) Or not livin at all. All I'm trin 2 do is live life chillin so I can see anotha day. Hell yea, I dropped out of school. I can't do shit but get high and drunk to take my mind off how fucked up my life is right now. Liquar and weed aint no addiction, its my life.
''Whats Going On?'' | Janurary 22, 2006 | Issue #21
This shit we call language; what we say might be right but maybe its wrong. Maybe we speakin THE WRONG LANGUAGE. Maybe every language on da god damn earth is wrong. Shit just change so much; we gon change this bitch, its gon change 2 A WHOLE NOTHA LANGUAGE. YOU DON'T KNOW TOMORROW. TOMORROW IS A CRAZZY MUTHAFUCKA. WHERE DA HELL TOMORROW AT. You know da muthafucka down da street, but do you know 2morrow. You know 2day, you know what you doin right now, you know whats goin on currently, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW 2MORROW. Muthafuckas be gettin 2 damn comfortable thinkin they gon see 2morrow. That muthafucka crazzy, if that muthafucka say, “A shit, you dead, you gone, aint no more tomorrow or 2day or right now. You dead.” Aint no notha 2morrow. You can't trade that bitch in. What if a muthafucka ran somethin into Da statue of liberty and said, "I'm glad I knocked that bitch down," and laughed about it. Muthafuckas would be shook payin attention 2 what da media say. Da president gotta say some ole patriototic bull shit when he just as shook as I am. I'm just trin 2 figure out why we all can't get along, and live here happily ever after when we all know we gotta share da earth. That aint nothin but man trin 2 control shit. Mans ability 2 think will kill all men. Man knows if he can control shit everybody gon need him and he gon get paied. Look at da money we use 2day. I go 2 da store, spend my money. Pay who ever made da shit, and pay the muthafucka that sold it 2 me. Some muthafucka got somethin I need or want and if I want it I gotta pay 4 it or steal it. I go broke trin 2 support anotha muthafucka when that muthafucka don't give a fuck about me; I'm just his money. When I try not 2 buy his shit, he comes up with somethin else 2 take my money.
''Whats Going On?'' | Janurary 15, 2006 | Issue #19
I finally realized I’m not an American citizen; I JUST LIVE HERE. That’s the way shit is; why I wanna go work when I got to work da rest of my life, I can't retire til I'm 60 somethin, why don’t I start workin when I'm 30 somethin. Nigga be doin all he can so he wont have 2 move back in with his mamma. They be wrong when they say "he know his information." It aint that he know his information, he just knows somebody elses information. Nigga don't be readin cause he don't want 2 get caught up in the circle of education because education is repiticious. Nigga be wantin 2 hear new shit. Why I gotta use otha peoples words 2 be right. I be lookin at people in da classroom. When da teacher says somethin, the students be noddin they head exceptin everything the teacher says 2 be true. I started 2 see how vulrable people were when they recieved information. I feel like the reason all them christain people be sucessful is because they be readin all that philosophy and shit from da bible. Niggas don't read. Nigga be questionin da bible. Was Adam and Eve really da 1st 2 muthafuckas here?